Monday, May 14, 2007

Annual Socialism Bash

Exciting news!

Yup, it's the annual Socialism bash in Chicago on June 14th.

However, if you can't get to Chicago this June, then the PG bulletin has an exclusive offer to all our readers. Don't sit through hours of tedious speeches full of hysterical beardies. Just read my previews of the speeches to find out what will be discussed. This year's exciting topics for debate include,

Won’t violence beget more violence?
A new brilliant theory from Professor A. Peaser, on how bullies are best stopped by hugging them.

Hot Climate, Cold Cash: Making a Killing from Global Warming
Led by 15,657 government-funded scientists reliant on producing anthropogenic Climate Change findings.

Zimbabwe: a revolution that lost its way
From breadbasket of Africa to basket case in just ten years. The power of socalism in action.

Crime and Punishment: Will there always be prisons?
Hopefully, yes. Otherwise, we're fucked.

The gathering threat against Iran
[Ed] Shurely shome mishtake. Probably a typo. Should read 'by Iran'.

Marxist economics made easy
Cancelled - due to lack of speakers

The History of the Russian revolution
Fucked up dudes with laughable goatee beards, overthrow corrupt Tsars with big, bushy beards, leading to even more corrupt regimes with frightening moustaches.

Did Lenin lead to Stalin?
Also time permitting, 'Do Bears shit in the woods?'

Capitalism and slavery
An hour on those evil capitalists. Unlike the Arab slave traders who were simply honest folk trying to eke out a living.

Israel, the Palestinians and the US war on terror
It's all the former's fault and nothing to do with the latter.

May Day: Haymarket and the fight for the eight hour day
Because it's worked so well for France.

Why did 60s radicals turn to Maoism?
Because they're ill-informed tossers.

Why do socialists look to the working class?
They don't. They hate the working class.

What is liberalism?
Cancelled due to lack of clue.

Could Hitler have been stopped?
He was. But not by Socialists.

Israel: a colonial-settler state
An hour on those evil Joooos

The Myth of Humanitarian intervention, from colonial times to Darfur
Who cares about a couple of million Darfurians. Think of the savings to the planet if they are simply left to be slaughtered.

What is the role of students in working-class struggle?
Guest speaker, Student Grant, on how to patronise and loathe the working class simultaneously.

Where is the world economy headed?
Do we really need more prosperity and employment? The case against capitalism.

Is there such a thing as human nature?
Yes. But you won't find much of it this weekend in Chicago.

Are we running out of oil?

War, What is it good for? Music and the struggle against war
By guest speaker, Holly Johnson, lead singer of 80s one-hit wonders, Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

The new scramble for Africa
Guest speakers - the Communist leadership of China

Which way forward for the antiwar movement?
Self-mutilation, as always.

Is the reign of neocons over?
Controversially, the speaker will argue, yes.

via Tim Blair