Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Golf Phrases

Next time you're out on the course, try expanding your golfing lexicon with a few of these choice phrases;

On the Tee
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Dick Cheney - a wild shot

In the bunker
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
An Eva Braun - picked up in the bunker

Striking the ball
A Heather Mills McCartney - doesn't have the legs
A Jimmy Hoffa - a great strike but a poor result
An Elton John - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Douglas Bader - looks good in the air but doesn't have the legs

The approach shot
A Sister-in-Law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be

A Nicole Richie - a nasty 5 footer
A Naomi Campbell - a nasty 6 footer
A Norman Mailer - an impossible read
A Robbie Williams - thought it was straight, but it wasn't