Monday, March 19, 2007

Captain Freddie


So England vice-captain, Freddie Flintoff, gets out first ball during England's whipping at the hands of New Zealand, goes on an eight-hour bender, grabs a pedalo from the team hotel's beach, capsizes at 4am and has to be rescued by hotel staff.

Twat.

A source at the Rumours club said:

"You would never have thought England had lost a World Cup game. If anything you would have thought they had just won the competition. Freddie was drinking beer as if it was going out of fashion. It was just like the scenes when they won the Ashes in 2005. Flintoff's perfomance was far superior off the pitch than it was on. He should have been up early in the nets practising, not drinking until the early hours."

Flintoff added later:

"I'd warned my wife Rachael what was likely to happen if we won and she went to bed and left me in the hotel bar. "I had most of my closest mates there and I didn't want the night to end. I was drinking pints of Lancaster Bomber. I drank and drank and drank."

Update; Flintoff has now been stripped of the vice-captaincy and dropped from the team that beat Canada today.

More worrying is a comment from former england captain, Nasser Hussain.

"A bit of a drink culture has crept back into the side"

I can testify to this. Arriving at my Brisbane hotel on Friday night after the first day's play at the Gabba, i found Freddie surrounded by a bunch of lackeys in the hotel bar downing pints at a rate of knots. Where the hell is the management?