Monday, April 10, 2006

Golf phrases

Congratulations to fellow leftie, Phil Mickelson, on another Masters victory.

Next time you're out on the course, try expanding your golfing lexicon with a few of these choice phrases;

On the Tee
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

In the bunker
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
An Eva Braun - picked up in the bunker

Striking the ball
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Douglas Bader - looks good in the air but doesn't have the legs

The approach shot
A Sister-in-Law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't