I'll say that again, Prime Minister.
Me. Not Tony. Me. Gordy. Supremo. Chief. Boss. The Broonster.
Ha! Power at last!
In the immortal words of Richie Benaud, "piss off Tony, you're out!"
Deputy Prime Minister
Yup, not hard to look good against the previous occupant of this position, eh?
Just show up for work, avoid shagging the staff and try not to
fuck the country up.
Remind you of another grinning idiot? Yup, me too.
I have cunningly devised a plan to pin all the shit on him.
Think your gonna succeed me, eh pretty boy? Think again, loser.
to be blamed for everything that will go wrong.
And i intend to keep TB busy in his new role.
Because it's going to take a fucking miracle to salvage this economy after ten years of me tinkering with it.
The Rt Hon Member for Sherwood Forest
Another candidate to replace me.
Minister Without Principle
The Rt Hon Member for Whatever It Takes To Get Votes
You can always rely on Pete, no matter what the issue, to
speak entirely devoid of principle, views, or opinions.
First man in any supremo's (yes, that's me now) new team.
About time the defence forces were led by a compassionate woman.
Minister for the Arts
The Rt Hon Member for Tubbyshire
This should tick a smorgsmabord of diversity boxes.
Not human, gay, purple, ethnic, fat, jug ears and barely literate.
Oh, and has an aerial for a head.
Head of the Tax Office
The Rt Hon Members of the Streets With No Name
These boys have forgotten more about tax avoidance than you
or I will ever know. Perfect for the job.
The Rt Hon Member for Binge Drinking
Freddie 'Shipfaced' Flintoff will lead the charge to remove
alcohol from Britain's streets, singlehandedly.
Minister for Liberty
The Rt Hon Member for Mauritius
Dave the Dodo
Minister for Spin
I am often asked whether 'spin' will be consigned to the dustbin of history.