i) Midlothian Council is to leave the lights on in derelict buildings to prevent burglars and vandals from hurting themselves. Hit this link to prove that i'm not making this up.
ii) My solicitor advised me to fence in our swimming pool so that trespassers won't fall in, drown and then their families sue me. I dont have a link for this one, but again, i'm not making it up.
iii) The UK government has banned hobbies as they may encourage paedophiles.
iv) The UK H&S Executive has advised firefighters that they should not attempt to rescue people from drowning because it is too dangerous. Fireman Tam Brown is facing legal action after he saved the life of a woman who had fallen into a river.
v) The word 'accident' has been banned from the Highway Code. All accidents, err, collisions, are now someone's fault.
Graph; courtesy of some very happy law student over at the ALS.