Strine

Well, i've been here a year now, and keen to pass my Citizenship exam next year, have been studying hard the local dialect.

A is for

Aboriginal, Blackfella
Person who's life has been destroyed by the well-intentioned but guilt-ridden handouts of the local Anglo population.

Anzac
Only ever used in conjunction with the words 'legend', 'myth', 'digger', 'fair go', or 'spirit'.
Has replaced Australia Day (see below) as the National Day due to queasiness on the part of local white population.

Ashes, The
An urn that is kept in England despite last being won by England in the 19th Century

Australia Day
The landing of the first Fleet at Sydney Cove on 26th Jan 1788.
No longer Australia's National Day as has since been renamed 'Invasion Day'.

B

Barbie
Only sold in sizes larger than most kitchens.
Primal regression back to the days when man killed what he ate by cave fires whilst drinking his own urine. Electricity has replaced wood but VB is still drunk.

Big Smoke
City. Usually with air of the quality of the Swiss mountains

Billy
Tin used for boiling water over a campfire. Only ever used in Waltzing Matilda

Blowie
Fly the size of your hand that refuses to leave your face, especially your eyes

Bogans
The white working class. Similar to 'chav' in England or 'redneck' in the US. Strangely is used pejoratively in left-wing circles and affectionately in the company of right-wingers.

Bondi
Iconic Australian beach populated entirely by Brits

Bush, the
Mythical place that Australians talk abut incessantly but never visit.

C

Cobber
Mate. Never used, except by English people trying to empathise with the locals

D

Dangerous, animal
Will kill you without a moment's hesitation or provocation.

Dag
Manure that sticks to a sheep's arse.
Likeable drongo.

Dead Set
Correct. As in 'Dead set, mate, it's true"
I think closely related to Fair Dinkum (see below)

Digger
Mythical hero who served in Gallipoi. Only insult a digger if you have extensive private medical insurance

Dinkum, Fair
Haven't nailed this one yet. Think it means 'exactly' or 'definitely'. As in 'Fair dinkum it's hot mate'. Useage rises in proportion to number of VBs drunk.

Dreaming
Aboriginal concept for the places where the creation spirits lie dormant in the ground. Has become popular with whitefella atheists.


F

Fair Go
Local religion. Only word more commonly used by politicians more than 'I'.

Footy
Not football. Weird game played by wiry thugs.

G

Gallipoli
Sacred ground in Turkey. Site of humiliating defeat of Australian army. Brits blamed of course (see Tall Poppy Syndrome below).

Greer, Germaine.
Loathed wrinkly expat. Australia's least popular citizen. Now living in England, where she is on course for the 'Double'.

H

Harmless
Any animal that won't kill you

Huntsman
'Harmless' spider. Grows to dinner plate size and prefers to live in your living room.

I

Imagination, or lack thereof in animal taxonomy
For example, a black snake with a red belly is called the red-bellied black snake. A brown looking snake is the brown snake. A black coloured spider with a red dot on its back is the redback spider. A jellyfish with a blue bottle on its back is the bluebottle. You get the picture.

Irwin, Steve
God

J

Jackaroo and Jillaroo
Young male and female ranch hands. About 0.00000000000004% of the population.

K

Kindy
Pre-School. Now almost entirely funded by Federal government. Available from birth and available 24 hours a day for those parents not wanting to raise offspring.

Kokoda
Track in Papa New Guinea.
Most Australians live under the delusion that Japan's efforts in WWII ended here. Now walked by balding, middle managers on Corporate Teambonding Sessions.

Kookaburra
Exotic-named and iconic bird but is actually a drab-looking kingfisher. Makes excrutiatingly annoying noise.

L

Lamington
Disgusting sponge cake covered in coconut.

Larrikin
Badly behaved young person

Lauchie
Name of every boy under ten years of age.

M

Matilda
Swagman's backpack.

Men of Middle Eastern Appearance
Euphemism.

Metho
The middleman between Aboriginal welfare and destitution.

O

Ocker
See Bogan.

P

Packers, the
The Australian Royal Family

Piss
Beer. Aptly named.

Pokie
Fruit Machine. Only played by people with no money.

Pommy
Used to be an affectionate term for an Englishman. Now banned, it has since become offensive.

Q

Qantas
National airline. Clever addition of kangaroo on the tail, enables company to be able to charge high prices and restrict competition all in the name of patriotism. Clever marketing department.

R

Rissole
Disgusting meat patty. Needs lashings of tomato sauce to disguise taste.

Rugby League
Violent game played by men with tattoos

Rugby Union
Violent game played by men without tattoos

S

Schoolie's Week
One week of the year when the nation's future politicians, lawyers, bankers and wealth-generators descend on Surfer's Paradise to drink themselves into a coma, shag anything that moves and trash a place that is almost impossible to trash.

Smoko
Smoke break. Now banned by federal govt everywhere and punishable by jail sentence.

T

Tall Poppy
Successful person. Everyone aspires to be one, but noone will admit to being one. Peverse sense of guilt still associated with success even though every parent will bankrupt themselves to ensure their children's success.

Tassie
Tasmania. Haven't been there yet but hear they all look alike.

Thredbo
Ski resort. Prices start at $5,000 a week for the pleasure of skiing on grass and rock. Cheaper to fly to New Zealand to actually ski on snow.

Tourek
Wealthiest suburb in Australia. Full of 4-wheel driving, latte-sipping greens with children at private school.

Troppo
As in 'gone troppo'. Gone mad, done a runner, usually as a result of the heat, lack of water and man-eating spiders.

TwoUp
Heads or Tails. Pernicious gambling game now banned by all States. Legal for one day of the year - Anzac Day.

U

Ute
Pick up truck. Only available with tinted windows, souped-up engines and go-fast stripes. 'There's rednecks, and there's Ute drivers" i was told by an informed local.

V

Vegemite
Inedible yeast extract.

Venomous, animal
Likely to be in the World Top Ten most poisonous animals. Probably contains enough toxin to stop a herd of bull elephants.

X

XXXX
Undrinkable beer from Queensland