BBC - guide to terror reporting

In order to help with the ongoing staff cutbacks at the BBC, i offer some helpful advice.

The next time there is a terrorist atrocity, simply issue the following statement and fill in the blanks. Easy. No expensive-on-the-ground reporters needed.

"Following the murder of a Jewish rabbi/torching of a synagogue/blowing up of diners in a cafe (insert atrocity here), Inspector Very P.C. Knackered of the Yard reminded the general public that there is most certainly no global jihad-to-see-here. There is absolutely no reason to suspect Islamic terrorism insisted Knacker, as it could just as likely be those pesky Presbyterians again.

Muslim group MPAC/JihadisRUs/Deathtotheinfidel.com/ WotHolocaust? (insert name of moderate Muslim community group here) vigorously condemned the attack but went on to blame Tony Blair's foreign policy/Israeli pigs/Katrina/Bono/Peaches Geldof/(insert excuse here) for poisoning the minds of young Muslim men and called for the immediate implementation of Sharia Law to provide Britain's youth with moral fibre/make their wives do more chores (insert benefits of Sharia here)."

BBC editors - it doesn't matter if P.C. Crap didn't actually say this, because he almost certainly is about to.

It also doesn't matter if a Muslim community leader hasn't blamed Tony's foreign excursions, since by the time you've nipped out for a coffee and a fag (not that sort obviously), he will.