Before you send me these Ashes jokes, i've heard them all already.
Courtesy of the Manchester Evening News,
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all rounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they’re not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. What does “Ashes” stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
Q.What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Quote of the day after Harmie and Jimmy Anderson forge a 20 run last wicket partnership,
"It's like watching your house burn down and finding a bonus 20p piece in the lining of your coat."
and
"After KP was out I returned to a re-run of the Old Grey Whistle Test from 1975, and saw a guitar solo from Lynrd Skynrd which lasted much longer than any of our batsmen."
Well Pommygranate, I won't kick you while you are down, even as I have a chuckle at the jokes.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that has received scant mention, and which Englishmen can take great pride in still... the incredible sportsmanship displayed by a team that was patently out-played and out-manned.
I, coming from a generation whose childhood was prefaced by many a great Ashes tussle and who loves the tradition of these great battles,would have rather seen a "great" Ashes series, (so an historic white-wash was some minor consolation), but images such as the honor guard the English team formed for Justin Langer, the genuine congratulations they offered Symonds and Gilchrist, the obvious respect they showed Warne on his milestone 700....these are lasting memories. As was the Barmy Army - and no-one is more surprised than I to hear me say that!!!
Well done England. Roll on 2009!
Keep the Muslim out of the MCC!
Gravelrash
ReplyDeleteThere is always great sporting tradition between these two teams. I just hope we can put up a better fight next time. The Barmy Army deserve better!
You lot are just appalling. I had the misfortune of watching the 20/20 match at the SCG. The gulf between the teams was unbelievable.
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